IN A SLUMP

Winter in Logan + cow & car inversion + 21 credits + planning a wedding + fiance who works nights = a lonely, claustrophobic, anxious, ME. 

The last few weeks I've found myself in a slump. I really think this horrible winter has been the worst I've ever experienced and it has taken a lot out of me. Everyone keeps saying that being engaged is the best time in my life, and that wedding planning should be such a blast. But I have sort of lost focus and had a terrible attitude as of late. 

Yuck. 

So this weekend, I really tried to get out of this funk. I did a lot of random things. I drove all the way to SLC and went window shopping for a few hours... still felt pretty yucky after that excursion. I went against my "no-tanning" rule for a few minutes, and I really think some vitamin D did me some good! Greg was sweet to cook new recipes with me, spend all his spare time with me and take me up the canyon to climb above the gross air.

Warning: gross kissing picture to follow.

As of right now, I'm feeling ready to take on one more week. 

Happy Monday, keep going, everyone.

Has anyone else felt down this winter? What do you do to keep positive and happy?

MY FIANCE & ME: PART I

I want to do what a lot of excited love-sick puppies when they're betrothed, dating, or married: tell you our story.  I love this man of mine, and it hasn't been an easy road.  Sometimes I worry Greg will realize how incredible he is and that he'll second-guess his choosing me.  I hope he doesn't;) Anyway, here's the beginning:

My freshman year at Utah State University was an interesting one.  I had a really tough time getting adjusted to living with different personalities, being away from home (as independent as I felt, it was just strange).  In high school, I had a boyfriend, great friends, I was in student government and thought I was on top of the world, but before I started university all of that ended.  As pathetic as this sounds, it's true: I felt completely lost and as if I had no purpose or focus.  In fact, as I type this, I can't believe how much I have changed.  I'm feeling grateful for that lost-little-freshman because if not for her, I wouldn't have me.

Or, Greg.

During my freshman year I spent too much time with a guy.... who I will call Bob.  Bob wasn't anything special. He was good looking and rude.  After Bob and I finally stopped seeing each other, Bob's friend Peter and I decided to set each other up on blind dates.

Enter Greg.

Peter's roommate was my date, and my roommate was Peter's date.  Greg was cute when I first met him.  He had just returned from serving a two-year mission in France, and was incredibly nervous.  He made me laugh and smile... I have to admit that I really liked him on our blind date.  He was awkward. I was awkward. See for yourself... & check out his hair!

Please disregard my holey jeans, my incessant laughing, and some gibberish I frequently say. 

I also laugh too much when I'm nervous. Yikes. 

Unfortunately, Greg and I only went out a couple more times after this before I was swept off my feet by someone else.

I am so grateful for that blind date three years ago, because he eventually came waltzing back into my life causing quite a commotion; to be continued.

SAID YES TO A DRESS

The days before my new semester began, I tried on dozens of wedding dresses at several different shops. Let me just tell you to run away from Gateway Bridal and Prom/Latter Day Bride. Finding a modest wedding dress is very important to me, so I stopped by. BIG mistake. There is nothing special about dress shopping there....consultants should not stand staring at you with folded arms, throw their gowns on the floor, stop you from trying on dresses you like, and treat your mother poorly. Boo, Gateway Bridal. Make sure you visit little boutiques like Danielle's, the Bride's Shop, or Alta Moda. After visiting so many places, I loved the way small boutiques treated me like a bride. Crazy, because I am one. Finding a wedding dress should be a wonderful experience and consultants should help you find dresses you are interested in, make an effort to get to know you, communicate with you to understand what you do and don't like about a dress, and act slightly interested in you.

NOTHING I tried on made me feel amazing, except for a dress that was 3x my budget. I tried about 20+ dresses on and felt completely discouraged. I was too critical of myself in every dress. I may have shed several tears because I just hated trying on dresses, but that isn't how it should be, right? I pulled myself up, dusted myself off and I went back to the beautiful Alta Moda the last weekend to start over. I tried on a couple dresses I had already put on, and tried on some new ones.  Feeling defeated, I slipped into the last gown my consultant had pulled for me and I wept.

Only this time, they were those happy little tears.

Here's a little peek, I don't' want to show everyone yet. 

Call me wordly, vain, and lacking purpose.... but that dress is perfect for me. It's not even close to the gown I've dreamed about for years-- it's even better. It was really special to have my mom and dad there. It's as if my entire wedding is coming together now and I am oh so excited to sealed to the love of my life. I hope he loves my dress as much as I do:)

Curse words, I love that man.

HERE WE GO

Wedding planning has started...I am so excited.  I am one of those girls who has thought about her wedding day for years; I even have a binder with samples and photos and ideas.  I can't believe that I finally get to plan the real thing!  For any of my readers who have planned or are planning a wedding, give me your best planning dos and don'ts.

As fun as all the fashion, flowers, food, decorations and photos are, the most wonderful part of all this is knowing I get to hang out with this boy for the rest of my life.  Sorry for the cheese-fest, but I just love this guy.  He makes me feel B-E-A-utiful.

Do us a favor, please? Click on the photo above (you should be directed to Facebook) and "like" our photo.  We are in a contest for a free engagement photography session from the talented Cascio photography.  I would be delighted to get photos. The contest ends January 13th-- thanks for your help!

A RING...I DON'T MEAN ON THE PHONE.

Greg has been the most wonderful blessing in my life, and he has patiently waited by my side and supported me through one stressful semester.  He held me over and over again while I cried because I wasn't getting any clarification about our relationship-- I didn't feel wrong about dating him at times, but other times it just didn't seem right. At one point, I asked Greg to give me some time to think about things because I just didn't know if getting more serious with him was the right thing to do.  My heart was in several places-- for months.

"Take all the time you need, you're worth the wait." 

I know that most guys would have given up on an emotional wreck like myself, and most guys would not have been around nearly as long as Greg has been. 

Greg's not most guys. 

He's gentle and kind.  He is polite and sweet.  He makes me laugh and is one dang good kisser;) He is dedicated to his family, his schooling and hard work.  He never criticizes anything about me or anyone. He drives me to 7-11 at 1:00 AM to get Slurpees after I finish stressful assignments.  He never talks about how pretty certain celebrities are and he makes me feel flawless.  He is incredibly supportive of whatever I take on.  He stares at me like I'm the most wonderful thing he's ever seen.  He spoils me with fun dates and copious amounts of time together.  He does that thing where he brushes my hair behind my ear and slowly pulls me in for a comforting kiss.  He treats me the way everyone woman deserves to be treated.  He's one of the good ones.  He brings me so much peace, happiness, and security.

And all that doesn't even begin to describe why I said yes on Christmas morning when he popped the question of all questions. 

A month or so ago, it just hit me. Everyone always says, "when you know, you know," and I know.  I have never felt so much peace and happiness in my entire life...it's overwhelming how much love I feel for him. Everything makes sense. 

On Christmas morning, Greg joined my parents, little sis, and myself for opening presents. After everything was unwrapped, Greg pointed out that I had one last present under our tree... 

Sorry the video is a tad poor in the quality department...I'm not THAT tech savvy;)  Enlarge it so it's not distorted.