FOOD FOR THOUGHT

After reading my post about marriage blues, you might better understand where I'm coming from:

I've been emotionally eating. 

I'm getting really honest here. I have gained more weight this year than since I was a growing, developing child, and I am at my heaviest weight.

Eating something creamy and thick and chocolatey and sweet makes me feel relaxed and less anxious. I try to turn off the irrational worries of the future by turning on my favorite television shows accompanied by my favorite snacks and treats.

It all started when I was feeling pretty down this past summer-- I've been battling my emotions and food ever since. This is an example of how I think about food during the day.

Today, I'm going to eat better.

Well, I didn't have time to eat breakfast, so I need to make sure I don't eat overeat at lunch.

Oh, those doughnuts in the faculty room look so good. It's okay, I can have one because I didn't eat breakfast. 

Yeah, this salad looks really healthy! AND I opted for the vinaigrette, I'm awesome.
What is good about spinach and mixed greens? Yuck. I want iceberg lettuce.
I'll just eat extra fruit instead. 

I ate really well at lunch and work was long. I deserve to plop down on the couch, watch Dr. Phil and consume an entire bag of microwave popcorn. I want hot chocolate, too. Nope, not enough chocolate, I'll add some extra scoops. It's in almond milk, so there is  protein (yeah, I actually have that thought. I actually think that almond milk can be my main source of protein.)

Since dinner won't be until 9, I will just keep snacking until then. Snacking is better for your metabolism. I'll snack on this peppermint bark. It had dark chocolate, so that makes it better for me. What else can I snack on...

Wait. I was going to eat better today, humph. I can't do it. Yet another thing I can't do right. I'm the worst! This bowl of cereal will make me feel better... and I can try again tomorrow.

Dinner was good, but I should add more vegetables. I'm glad I asked G to bring home some gummies. I am craaaving them. 

And sometimes, after enjoying three slices of pizza instead of one, or after eating extra pasta and breadsticks at dinner, I have a horrific thought. One that I am disgusted in myself for having.

Sometimes I think,

If only I could make myself purge all this crap I've consumed. 

I do NOT want to live like this! I don't want to have those thoughts. Especially that last one. I want to feel good about what I eat. I want to enjoy dessert *every once in a while* and not tear myself down for a week afterward.

I don't want to starve myself. I don't want to do anything unhealthy-- yet I know my current eating and thinking habits are unhealthy.

My husband is a trooper for living with me. I cry about my eating habits sometimes and he just tell ms me I'm beautiful. He spoils me with a new pair of jeans when my old ones don't fit. My husband tells me I look great.

The thing is, I don't FEEL great.

 I don't want to be struggling with regret after late-night bingeing. I don't want to late-night binge in the first place! I want to cook more. I want to eat less sugar. I need to eat better.


I want to feel better.

I've finally had it. It's time that I do something about all of this. I've been doing a lot of reading, and while I firmly believe in the mantra, "moderation in all things" I've decided to do a sugar detox. Personally, I think this will be the best way for me to kick start a better lifestyle. If anyone wants to join me, I'm starting the day after Christmas-- December 26th.

This week, I'll be posting the plan I decide to go with. I'll be posting updates and photos and recipes galore. Your support means EVERYTHING.

1. Have you found an awesome cleanse or detox that worked for you? If so, tell me about it.

2. Do you have a favorite sweet-tooth-craving buster? I am a junk-food junkie and am terrified to go off sweets and excess sugar for so long.

3. I've heard that eating late can be yucky for your metabolism and my husband get's home from work around 9:30. In an effort to enjoy dinner together, I wait and eat late. Any suggestions of how to fix this situation?

FINALS BREAKFAST: RASPBERRY, LEMON, & RICOTTA PANCAKES

Holy mackerel-- these pancakes are DIVINE. Sweet raspberries with a zip of lemon and the rich, melty ricotta made this a breakfast I almost kept entirely for myself.

Since I'm a big girl now (all finished with my Bachelor's degree as of last week), I wanted to make G a tasty breakfast before his last final of the semester. The problem is that I leave for work pretty early and I don't like waking up earlier than I have to. I decided I'd make something the night before that he could re-heat. I've made waffles or pancakes toaster-size so they can be revived *almost* as new.

So, last night I experimented with a recipe from my favorite cook book. I made a few changes to the ricotta pancakes found inside and was quite please with the way they turned out... even though I'm terrible at flipping pancakes and they looked much worse than they tasted.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////

Raspberry, Lemon & Ricotta Pancakes 

2 cups raspberries, fresh or frozen (thawed)
1 lemon
1/4 cup of sugar, plus 1 Tbs

1 3/4 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
3 eggs, separate yolks and whites
1 1/4 cup milk
1 cup part-skim ricotta cheese

Mix raspberries, 1/4 cup of sugar and zest from the entire lemon in a bowl, gently crushing berries as you stir. Set aside.

In a mixing bowl, mix flour, salt, baking powder, and remaining sugar. In a separate bowl, combine egg yolks, milk, and ricotta cheese. In another bowl (YES, another bowl....), beat egg whites until stiff peaks form, set aside.  Add wet mixture to dry mixture, stirring until mostly smooth. Gently fold in berry mixture and egg whites.

Here's the tricky part, at least for me. Hopefully your pancakes will turn out before you make your last one. I used a medium skillet, warmed with coconut oil for my cakes-- you can use butter, too. Using my 1/3 cup measuring cup, I plopped the batter in the center of my skillet and flipped my cake too soon. After a lot of trial and error (and patience), the perfect pancakes came when I saw bubbles form in the center of my pancake, THEN I flipped them. I'm going to blame it on my skillet, it's not very good. We got one pot from our gift registry and I have yet to buy a decent pot and pan set. Maybe for Christmas?

We ate these with homemade maple syrup and they were delectable. Even though I'm a waffle girl, I'm definitely making these again.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Pancakes, or waffles?

Any tips for someone who can't flip her pancakes?

VEGETABLE SPAGHETTI SAUCE

The recipe I made for dinner last night turned out pretty amazing. The best part? It was LOADED with vegetables. I do not like vegetables, to say the least. I think their textures are despicable, they all taste like grass and the only time they are appealing is when they are steamed, covered in butter and showered with salt. 

What I'm saying, is that this recipe is one you'll want to make-- there's no butter. 

//////////////////////////////////////////////

Veggie Spaghetti Sauce:

1 cup of each diced:

Yellow Summer Squash

Zucchini

White onion

Carrot

Half of a Red Bell Pepper, diced

2 Tbs. Olive Oil

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 28 oz can crushed tomatoes

1 14 oz. can tomato sauce

4 Tbs. tomato paste

1/8 cup sugar

1 tsp.  salt

1 tsp. nutmeg

Fresh basil and oregano to taste!

////////////////////////////////////////////

Pulse diced squash, zucchini, carrot, onion, and bell pepper in processor until desired size and consistency. I pulsed mine quickly to make them smaller, but not so much that they became mushy or runny. You can add ANY other vegetables you have on hand (spinach, mushrooms, broccoli, kale, etc.).

In a sauce pan over medium heat, warm olive oil and sauté all your diced veggies for about 8 minutes, stirring occasionally until veggies are soft. Add garlic. Sauté for 2-3 more minutes. 

Add crushed tomatoes, tomato sauce, tomato paste, sugar and stir until veggies are fully incorporated. Simmer sauce for 10-15 minutes, add salt and nutmeg. Simmer for 15 more minutes, stirring in basil and oregano 5 minutes before serving. 

Serve over whole wheat spaghetti-- about 6 servings. 

What I LOVE about this recipe is that it leaves plenty of leftover for me to take to work. I love that it's packed with veggies and it tastes so fresh. 

What veggies would you add to this sauce?

Do any of you have tricks for me to get more veggies in my life? 

GROWING PAINS

I was going to post a new recipe, but we just ate leftovers and popcorn for dinner (lately I have been on a popcorn kick, trying all different kinds-- and I am never quite satisfied). This week has been full of all sorts of emotional highs and some devastating outcomes from that stupid and wonderful thing called *real life*. 

As I grow up and realize more everyday how little I know, I have to remind myself of all the good around me. I finished my bachelor's degree on Wedneday and start my new job On Monday. That's amazing, right? Then why do I feel this sense of panic? I am terrified of failing. 

I am a little terrified to grow up too fast. 

I want to slow time down and be wrapped up in G's arms just a few minutes longer in the morning. I want my aching knees to stop-- can't I have the body of an 18-year-old again? Within the blink of an eye, I will be sending off my first kid to college and then pretty soon I will be a grandma. After that? Greg will be all alone, or worse, I will be all alone. I don't want to grow old. 

A couple months ago, G's grandfather passed away, leaving his wife. Much more recently, his paternal grandmother passed away Wednesday morning-- finally joining her husband. She had been without him for far too long. Yesterday, I got a phone call informing me that my grandfather will be passing in only a matter of time, leaving my grandmother alone. What is the point of that? I couldn't do it. 

I am so terrified of getting old. 

Someone tell me how to embrace it all and just let things happen. 

 

SLOW-COOKER TORTILLA SOUP

Yesterday was practically the worst day of the year because it was the COLDEST day since summer. I was freezing all day and plopped right down on the couch when I got home from school. I warmed myself up with hot cocoa and some Dr. Phil. Why do I love that show so much?

I was happy that I didn't need to worry about dinner since I prepped it all this past weekend and was able to toss it in a Crockpot this morning. It was so tasty (and warm!), I hope you enjoy it! 

Slow Cooker Torrilla Soup -- serves 4

2 large chicken breasts, trimmed 

1 cup chopped celery

1 cup chopped white onion

1 cup sliced carrots

3 chicken or vegetable bouillon cubes

1 clove minced garlic

1 package taco seasoning 

1 can diced tomatoes with green chiles

1 can diced tomatoes

3 cups water

2 8-inch whole wheat tortillas, torn into small pieces (about 2 inches)

1 cup chopped cilantro

1 cup milk (optional) 

Salt and pepper to taste

Shredded cheese of choice for sprinkling on served soup

You can prepare this as a freezer meal by putting everything except cilantro, tortillas, cheese, water, salt, pepper and milk in a gallon freezer bag. After freezing, place contents of bag, plus 3 cups of water, in the Crockpot on low for 6-8 hours.

If you aren't freezing beforehand, put the same contents and water in a the Crockpot for 4-6 hours. 

1 hour before serving, remove chicken breasts and shred use two forks. Return to Crockpot. Put half of the cilantro and all the tortillas in the crockpot. Stir occasionally, until tortillas are incorporated. If using milk, stir in with salt and pepper 30 minutes before serving. 

Serve with cheese, tortillas chips, guacamole, sour cream, etc. 

Enjoy!

What are you doing to stay warm? 

LIGHTER FARE MUSHROOM, ASPARAGUS, & CHICKEN ALFREDO

I posted this on Instagram about two weeks ago, promising I would post it the following day. Oops.

This is one of my favorite go-to recipes. I got it from an ex-boyfriend's mother and I have made a few changes to her recipe to make it slightly less guilty. The flavor isn't sacrificed, but for a creamier, more luscious texture, add more butter and use heavy cream instead of milk. 

Bon a petit! 

Chicken (optional) -- 

2-3 Chicken breasts

2 Tbs olive oil

Sea salt

Pepper

Trim 2-3 chicken breasts and cut into chunks. Season with sea salt and freshly ground pepper. In a medium skillet with 2 tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat, cook chicken (about 2-3 minutes each side). Check the largest piece and make sure juices run clear. Set chicken aside.

Sauce: 

2 Tbs. butter (gasp!)

1-2 cloves garlic, minced (I use about 3-- you can never have enough garlic!)

2 Tbs. whole wheat flour

1 1/2 cups of milk (you can even use skim!)

1 cup shredded parmesean cheese

Sea salt

Pepper 

Nutmeg 

The first thing you will be doing is making a rous. This is a butter, flour and milk mixture that creates a thick sauce base. This also allows to omit that luscious, heavy cream. 

In a sauce pan over medium heat, heat butter and garlic. Be careful not to burn the garlic, it should become soft and translucent-- but not brown! 

Whisk in flour until thoroughly combined. Whisk in half the milk and bring to boil. Turn heat to low and allow to simmer for a few minutes. Your mixture will have thickened. Stir in half the cheese followed by remaining milk. Season with salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Remove from heat and cover. 

Asparagus and Mushrooms:

2 Tbs. olive oil

However many mushrooms you desire, thinly sliced (I only sliced enough for my hubs).

However many asparagus stalks you desire, cut into 2 inch sections (I cut tons of asparagus-- I love it!).

2 Tbs. olive oil

Heat oil in a medium skillet and sautée mushrooms and asparagus for about 5 minutes, turning veggies halfway through.

(I sautéed the mushrooms separately because I hate them. I added them to the dish after on the side of the bowl that serves my husband)

 Drain excess oil, return to low heat and add chicken to warm. Add sauce to skillet, stirring in veggies and chicken. 

Serve over whole wheat linguine. Sprinkle with remaining cheese.

What types of add-ins would you include in this recipe? 

Do any of you have guilty pasta recipes that you have adjusted to a lighter option?