GLOOM AND A RECIPE

I haven't blogged in a month and I don't care. A part of me cares because I've had a goal of blogging more this year. I love setting goals and I hate when I don't fulfill them. I'm a tiny bit sad that I haven't been posting. I don't feel that bad because this little blog is not a priority of mine. I am sitting on my couch, putting off job applications and wanting to jot down some feelings.

Thanks to anyone who reads my meaningless words.

Remember this post?  Being married is hard. I wouldn't choose to be in any other situation, because G makes me feel slightly less crazy and he is my biggest fan. Things seem to get harder everyday, but I'm glad we are here for each other through tough stuff. What's tough is watching my more-than-deserving man not getting accepted to medical school, still working two jobs (where he clones and delivers baby animals), and pushing through the last semester of college. I've watched his dark circles get darker. I've been pushed farther and farther away from the man I married. I've seen myself gain weight and insecurity. I've felt alone and regretful. But mostly, I've been selfish. I'm trying to make everything about me and I need to stop. Throw some advice my way-- I need it.

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You didn't think I would just whine and pout, did you? Here's a recipe I meant to post forever ago-- It's super easy. The left-overs are fantastic at work the next day and it's husband approved. Light and tasty, it's got a serving of veggies, and lots of protein!

Chicken Fried Rice (kelsey, this one's for you. sorry it took so long) 
Serves 4

3 Cups cooked brown rice
1/2 lb chicken breasts
1 medium onion, diced
1 Tbs coconut oil
1 bag frozen peas/carrots blend
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 eggs

While cooking rice, grill chicken in a small skillet and shred when cooked through.
*Optional: for some extra flavor, soak shredded chicken in additional minced garlic, a packet of Stevia (or 1 Tbs sugar) and about 3 Tbs soy sauce.
Warm oil in a large skillet; add garlic, onion, and veggies-- heat until tender.
Crack eggs over skillet and scramble with veggies. Add chicken, rice, and soy sauce. ENJOY! 

HAPPY PRESIDENT'S DAY & EGGS

Greg and I have spent the weekend in Davis county visiting our parents and are beyond happy to have today off work and school. Here's a quick recap of our weekend: 

Saturday I made a trip past my gym for measurement and a pep talk from my trainer. I was pleasantly surprised to have dropped in body fat % (But, maintaining weight! Yay for lifting!) and even more surprised when I was told it was okay to quit my quitting sugar. I will write more about that experience later, but basically I made it 5 weeks with no sugar. No fructose. No treats. No fruits. 8-week detox fail, but experimental sugar-cleanse success! I definitely will stay off refined sugars and feel stronger against my sugar addiction, but I just didn't see as many changes as I would have liked to. 

Later that evening, Greg and ventured to my old stomping grounds to chaperone the Viewmont High Valentine's Dance. It was absolutely fun and I am proud to finally say that all my high school memories aren't full of heart-ache;) I went to a high school dance with Greg! On our way out, we noticed that our car got egged. Seriously? What a mess. 

Sunday was an easy-going day that ended with some nice catching up with G's family and selfies from our cutie niece. 

We tried to wash the egg off our car last night, but alas, we had waited to long. I need a spackle knife...

In honor of our weekend, I made G some scrambled eggs this morning with whatever I found laying around my parents kitchen. Onions, bell-pepper, cheese... All with fresh eggs from the chickens out back. 

Eat something tastey toda on your day off! I am headed to watch me some Olympics.

How do you like your eggs?

Have any god high school dance stories? 

What are your plans for your President's Day break?

DISCLAIMER

*I do not have one of those fancy pants Canon DSLR Rebel ULTRA to the MAX cameras.

I take pictures of my food with my iPhone (gasp!) and so DUH the pictures don't look like this. When you cook, I'm pretty sure you don't tie burlap around your mason jars filled with salad or serve pasta with flags in it. I am an amateur and I want readers to feel like they can make the dishes I post! Raise your hand if you have ever tried to make a recipe and it didn't turn out like the professional picture at all-- I know I have.

*Sometimes I say that the dishes I make are "lighter fare" or "healthy," but let me assure you that someone, somewhere is already sending me a message about how I should use spelt flour or how I shouldn't be using any salt. Somebody is rolling their eyes because I used butter (instead of some fake, processed alternative that has less calories). Someone thinks that I should be using rice syrup or some type of paste instead of a particular ingredient in my recipe.

Oh well.

Here's my motto: Moderation in all things. When I say my recipes are healthy, I mean that I have made adjustments to traditional versions of recipes to make them "better" for you. My opinion of "better for me" means I don't feel guilty after eating it. I don't press my own almond milk, but I use store-bought almond milk often. I won't even be in the same room as Kale chips, but I do make some mean oven dill-fries; however, I will ask questions about how you would change recipes to make them even "better"for us, or how you would make my sweet taco chicken if you don't have Stevia on hand.

*I'm not just going to post recipes. I've decided that I want to blog more and along with my love of cooking comes my love to write. I've made it easy for you to sift through my posts-- just click the live, love, or eat tabs at the top of my page to filter my posts by your desired topic. Woo!

*I get way too excited when people comment. I love your advice and support. I love how technology can connect people in all sorts of interesting ways.

*Sometimes cooking gets pushed aside and I order out. You should, too.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: I'M QUITTING SUGAR

via

Here's the deal. I'm quitting sugar. 

I stumbled across Sarah's blog when I was searching for recipes to experiment with and I connected with about EVERYTHING she wrote about sugar.

I get mood altering cravings after meals for something sweet. I often consume more sweet treats and fruit in a day than foods that don't contain sugar. I find myself experiencing emotional highs and lows that I use treats to cope with. All too often I find myself thinking: I deserve this doughnut. I deserve these skittles. I deserve this ice cream. I will start my day of trying to eat right, but end up just eating less. Then evening rolls around and I'm starving. I binge on anything in sight-- feeling guilty. I spend so much time obsessing over what I eat and I'm done.

Basically, I am a sugar addict.

If that's not enough to motivate me to change, than my inspiring mother certainly is. Last year, my mother was diagnosed with diabetes and she wasn't okay with that. She got RIGHT into motion. Literally. She changed her diet and cut sugar. She started exercising. She lost weight. She brought her blood sugar down. She made a change because she deserves it.

I deserve to respect my body and take care of it.

Last week I started my 8-week journey to quitting sugar. I didn't go cold-turkey because I knew I needed to ease into the process, plus Wilson's guide suggested doing just that. I have been paying attention to my cravings and my "food feelings." I've been collecting recipes to try and grocery list ideas for my sugar-free eating and I'm pretty excited. By adding fat (the good kind-- found in avocados and eggs and nuts), I will be able to curb cravings. Read more about that here.

"You know that fruit is good sugar, right? Fruit is healthy." 

Yes. Fruit does contain vitamins and minerals and good stuff for you. But, it also has sugar. Sure, fruit contains "complex" sugars and none of that refined stuff found in candy.  Fructose is fructose-- no matter HOW you disguise it. During my 8-week detox, 6 weeks are completely sugar-free. That includes fruit. But, guess what? After I can detox and get a hold of my cravings, I will be able to have a couple pieces of fruit a day and even have some dessert every once in a while. After I detox, I'll be able to have dessert every once in a while and not want to go back for seconds (or thirds. or midnight fourths).

I'm not saying everyone needs to quit sugar-- but I am choosing to quit.

This has not been an easy decision, just so you know. I LOVE treats. I love anything whipped and sweet and rich. I love how sweets make me feel. I love the flavors in gummy candies. I love the way chocolate melts in my mouth. I love everything about sweets. But, isn't it scary about you could replace the topic of sugar with smoking or cocaine and most of the content in this post would apply?

I just want to experiment and see how I feel in 8 weeks. Sarah Wilson tells me my cravings will be gone. She tells me my emotions and moods will make more sense. She tells me that I'll have more energy. She even says I will feel lest bloated and that I may even lose a few pounds.

I deserve all of that. 

Well, I've talked the talk. Let's see if I can walk the walk.

If you have questions, please feel free to comment or shoot me an e-mail. I'd love to tell you more about Wilson's 8-week guide.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

After reading my post about marriage blues, you might better understand where I'm coming from:

I've been emotionally eating. 

I'm getting really honest here. I have gained more weight this year than since I was a growing, developing child, and I am at my heaviest weight.

Eating something creamy and thick and chocolatey and sweet makes me feel relaxed and less anxious. I try to turn off the irrational worries of the future by turning on my favorite television shows accompanied by my favorite snacks and treats.

It all started when I was feeling pretty down this past summer-- I've been battling my emotions and food ever since. This is an example of how I think about food during the day.

Today, I'm going to eat better.

Well, I didn't have time to eat breakfast, so I need to make sure I don't eat overeat at lunch.

Oh, those doughnuts in the faculty room look so good. It's okay, I can have one because I didn't eat breakfast. 

Yeah, this salad looks really healthy! AND I opted for the vinaigrette, I'm awesome.
What is good about spinach and mixed greens? Yuck. I want iceberg lettuce.
I'll just eat extra fruit instead. 

I ate really well at lunch and work was long. I deserve to plop down on the couch, watch Dr. Phil and consume an entire bag of microwave popcorn. I want hot chocolate, too. Nope, not enough chocolate, I'll add some extra scoops. It's in almond milk, so there is  protein (yeah, I actually have that thought. I actually think that almond milk can be my main source of protein.)

Since dinner won't be until 9, I will just keep snacking until then. Snacking is better for your metabolism. I'll snack on this peppermint bark. It had dark chocolate, so that makes it better for me. What else can I snack on...

Wait. I was going to eat better today, humph. I can't do it. Yet another thing I can't do right. I'm the worst! This bowl of cereal will make me feel better... and I can try again tomorrow.

Dinner was good, but I should add more vegetables. I'm glad I asked G to bring home some gummies. I am craaaving them. 

And sometimes, after enjoying three slices of pizza instead of one, or after eating extra pasta and breadsticks at dinner, I have a horrific thought. One that I am disgusted in myself for having.

Sometimes I think,

If only I could make myself purge all this crap I've consumed. 

I do NOT want to live like this! I don't want to have those thoughts. Especially that last one. I want to feel good about what I eat. I want to enjoy dessert *every once in a while* and not tear myself down for a week afterward.

I don't want to starve myself. I don't want to do anything unhealthy-- yet I know my current eating and thinking habits are unhealthy.

My husband is a trooper for living with me. I cry about my eating habits sometimes and he just tell ms me I'm beautiful. He spoils me with a new pair of jeans when my old ones don't fit. My husband tells me I look great.

The thing is, I don't FEEL great.

 I don't want to be struggling with regret after late-night bingeing. I don't want to late-night binge in the first place! I want to cook more. I want to eat less sugar. I need to eat better.


I want to feel better.

I've finally had it. It's time that I do something about all of this. I've been doing a lot of reading, and while I firmly believe in the mantra, "moderation in all things" I've decided to do a sugar detox. Personally, I think this will be the best way for me to kick start a better lifestyle. If anyone wants to join me, I'm starting the day after Christmas-- December 26th.

This week, I'll be posting the plan I decide to go with. I'll be posting updates and photos and recipes galore. Your support means EVERYTHING.

1. Have you found an awesome cleanse or detox that worked for you? If so, tell me about it.

2. Do you have a favorite sweet-tooth-craving buster? I am a junk-food junkie and am terrified to go off sweets and excess sugar for so long.

3. I've heard that eating late can be yucky for your metabolism and my husband get's home from work around 9:30. In an effort to enjoy dinner together, I wait and eat late. Any suggestions of how to fix this situation?