I can hardly believe it.
Let me just start the rest of this post with a disclaimer: I love my fiance with all my heart. He is my best friend and number one supporter. He is one of those men that women only dream of... he's totally real and the best thing to ever happen to me.
With that in mind, let me begin to divulge all sorts of silly emotions.
To find out that friends of mine discussed how long my engagement would last before I called it off, hurts. To have awful rumors find their way to me is just yucky. To discover that someone I trusted or found loyal doesn't respect me or what I do just. plain. sucks. A couple years ago I lost one of my dearest friends and I'm not sure I'll ever understand why. These statements might sound like I am talking about one person. The truth is, there are several people who have and will hurt me. Girls can be just awful to each other. I try to take it as a lady and move on.
But that hurt is real. My father always tells me not to let the actions of determine how I feel. Someday I'll figure out how to do that and let you all know how it's done.
I want to know that someone is dying to hear about my wedding plans or that they will call me to grab lunch because they miss my conversation. Is that weird? Am I being dramatic?
Last night, I was saying all of this to my patient Gregory while tears poured from my eyes when I remembered something I was told once,
"Women need the support of other women."
Plain and simple. I don't care if you agree with that statement or not, but I need the support of other women. I am excited to be getting married, he is my absolutely my best friend and know I can and will always count on him. That doesn't mean that I have to lose all my friends though, right? I look forward to meeting new women in the places life will take us, and I hope I can be supportive, kind, and someone they can rely on. In the past weeks, months, and years I have began to recognize who true friends are.
After my conversation with Greg reassuring me that I do have supportive friends, I realized that even when I feel alone... he's there. He may not be able to go shopping with me and have a great time, or eat yummy salads and browse through boutiques, but he is my everything.
Last night, I was saying all of this to my patient Gregory while tears poured from my eyes when I remembered something I was told once,
"Women need the support of other women."
Plain and simple. I don't care if you agree with that statement or not, but I need the support of other women. I am excited to be getting married, he is my absolutely my best friend and know I can and will always count on him. That doesn't mean that I have to lose all my friends though, right? I look forward to meeting new women in the places life will take us, and I hope I can be supportive, kind, and someone they can rely on. In the past weeks, months, and years I have began to recognize who true friends are.
After my conversation with Greg reassuring me that I do have supportive friends, I realized that even when I feel alone... he's there. He may not be able to go shopping with me and have a great time, or eat yummy salads and browse through boutiques, but he is my everything.
I am so grateful for those people who remain true friends no matter what. You know who you are. Those people are the most admirable. Loyalty is hard to come by.
I really, really feel ya, Steph. People say that falling in love and getting married is so completing and it certainly is in it's own way, but it's more adding to the picture rather than replacing.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that happened to you, Steph. I 100% agree women need the support of other women. I was lucky enough to marry into a family with wonderful sister in laws I can call sisters. Even more so I'm lucky to be the only girl in my family and call my mother my best friend other than my hubs. It's hard to have girl friends after you get married. You have couple friends, and sometimes a few other friends that stick with you after you're married. For whatever reason though, after your married, your relationship with other girls changes if they aren't married. Good luck with the last month! I'd love to hear all the details! I'm dying to see your dress!!
ReplyDeleteThat's so hard steph! I remember that the day we got engaged this girl in our ward asked when we were getting married. We told her the date (which was like 7 or 8 months away) and she was like "wow, engagements that long rarely work out." You are so solid and have great judgement! Greg seems like a wonderful guy and I'm certain that you guys will be really happy together :) Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteSteph this breaks my heart. I'm here for you if you need me. You know where I am :) Also, I'm definitely in for a run after work tomorrow. It's gonna be awesome.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I haven't ever commented on your blog and haven't talked to you in what, two years?... I agree with everything you have said in this post. I also would like you to know that I do often read your blog though I never comment. I enjoy your writing, humor, topics, et cetera. You make me smile :). I hope you enjoy these last few days before you get married and focus on the good and happiness that your fiancé and family and friends are.
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