I've been emotionally eating.
I'm getting really honest here. I have gained more weight this year than since I was a growing, developing child, and I am at my heaviest weight.
Eating something creamy and thick and chocolatey and sweet makes me feel relaxed and less anxious. I try to turn off the irrational worries of the future by turning on my favorite television shows accompanied by my favorite snacks and treats.
It all started when I was feeling pretty down this past summer-- I've been battling my emotions and food ever since. This is an example of how I think about food during the day.
Today, I'm going to eat better.
Well, I didn't have time to eat breakfast, so I need to make sure I don't eat overeat at lunch.
Oh, those doughnuts in the faculty room look so good. It's okay, I can have one because I didn't eat breakfast.
Yeah, this salad looks really healthy! AND I opted for the vinaigrette, I'm awesome.
What is good about spinach and mixed greens? Yuck. I want iceberg lettuce.
I'll just eat extra fruit instead.
I ate really well at lunch and work was long. I deserve to plop down on the couch, watch Dr. Phil and consume an entire bag of microwave popcorn. I want hot chocolate, too. Nope, not enough chocolate, I'll add some extra scoops. It's in almond milk, so there is protein (yeah, I actually have that thought. I actually think that almond milk can be my main source of protein.)
Since dinner won't be until 9, I will just keep snacking until then. Snacking is better for your metabolism. I'll snack on this peppermint bark. It had dark chocolate, so that makes it better for me. What else can I snack on...
Wait. I was going to eat better today, humph. I can't do it. Yet another thing I can't do right. I'm the worst! This bowl of cereal will make me feel better... and I can try again tomorrow.
Dinner was good, but I should add more vegetables. I'm glad I asked G to bring home some gummies. I am craaaving them.
And sometimes, after enjoying three slices of pizza instead of one, or after eating extra pasta and breadsticks at dinner, I have a horrific thought. One that I am disgusted in myself for having.
Sometimes I think,
If only I could make myself purge all this crap I've consumed.
I do NOT want to live like this! I don't want to have those thoughts. Especially that last one. I want to feel good about what I eat. I want to enjoy dessert *every once in a while* and not tear myself down for a week afterward.
I don't want to starve myself. I don't want to do anything unhealthy-- yet I know my current eating and thinking habits are unhealthy.
My husband is a trooper for living with me. I cry about my eating habits sometimes and he just tell ms me I'm beautiful. He spoils me with a new pair of jeans when my old ones don't fit. My husband tells me I look great.
The thing is, I don't FEEL great.
I don't want to be struggling with regret after late-night bingeing. I don't want to late-night binge in the first place! I want to cook more. I want to eat less sugar. I need to eat better.
I want to feel better.
I've finally had it. It's time that I do something about all of this. I've been doing a lot of reading, and while I firmly believe in the mantra, "moderation in all things" I've decided to do a sugar detox. Personally, I think this will be the best way for me to kick start a better lifestyle. If anyone wants to join me, I'm starting the day after Christmas-- December 26th.
This week, I'll be posting the plan I decide to go with. I'll be posting updates and photos and recipes galore. Your support means EVERYTHING.
1. Have you found an awesome cleanse or detox that worked for you? If so, tell me about it.
2. Do you have a favorite sweet-tooth-craving buster? I am a junk-food junkie and am terrified to go off sweets and excess sugar for so long.
3. I've heard that eating late can be yucky for your metabolism and my husband get's home from work around 9:30. In an effort to enjoy dinner together, I wait and eat late. Any suggestions of how to fix this situation?
You are so awesome, Steph! I love how honest and real your blog is, because you are definitely not alone. Keep this updated because your dinner recipes are the best!
ReplyDeleteI don't know. For me I like the idea of phasing stuff out of my diet rather than removing it all at once, like going Monday thru Friday with no desserts/treats/ but then letting myself have some on the weekend. It's worked for me with soda, I've been able to totally work it out of my diet without any pressure of feeling like I was sticking to a "plan" or not.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Tim. I feel like if I decide to take something completely out of what I'm eating, I crave it more than I ever have. I think that craving breaks after two or three weeks, but it's a helluva two or three weeks and often I can't stick to it 100%.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever heard of intuitive eating? (http://www.intuitiveeating.org/content/what-intuitive-eating) I read about a few months ago and although I have fully implemented it or anything, I think it's a great approach to eating food. It mostly takes the approach of eat what you want, when you want and if you truly listen to your body, your body will learn to sort of regulate its self and you'll want to eat healthier. It's mostly designed to eliminate having guilt over what you're eating and to really be satisfied with you're eating, too.
I've noticed that when I design my meals around what I'm sincerely craving and wanting to eat, I eat tons of different foods and things start to balance out. Maybe I ate a bit of chocolate after lunch because it sounded sooooo good, but at dinner, all I wanted was roasted bell peppers and broccoli with some couscous. I've had this in the back of my mind for the last little while while I've been preparing meals and it's made me extremely excited to eat and I have felt better about what I'm eating, too.
Just something to think about, if you're interested. Again, sorry for the lengthy comments on your blog! You're just hitting home on your topics as of late.
to address your questions....
ReplyDelete1. I went on vacation the month of my wedding and gained some weight, when I got home and went to my fitting, my dress was just a wee bit tight. I had the option of either letting it out, or pushing my fitting back a few days in hopes that I'd lose the couple of pounds. I decided to wait because I knew I could lose it, as my weight fluctuates a bit and my body retains wonder like nobodys business. Anyway, I did a 3 day juice cleanse and it worked! It got me back to my normal self, and since it was only 3 days it wasn't too bad. I drank 8 oz. of juice every 2 hours, and i made sure the juices I drank were low in sugar and high in fiber and vitamins so I didn't feel sick at all. I was still getting about 1200 calories a day but it helped me control what I was eating. I wouldn't recommend doing anything longer than 3 days, that was the perfect amount of time for me
2. I don't know about the sweet tooth. I'm a SUCKER for desserts, always have been. Most people say not to cut things out completely but seriously the only way it works for me is if i quit cold turkey. I think it just depends on your personality. I did it once with a friend when I was a student athlete just before our conference meet, and after 2 months i'd lost 10 pounds, it was literally the only thing i changed about my diet and i felt SO much better, after a while you stop craving it because of how good you feel, it's so hard at first but i say if you can get someone to really commit to it with you, it's totally worth it (i'd commit with you!)
3. I have the same problem with eating late. I work til 8 M-F so when I get home I'm usually not eating dinner until 830 at the earliest, but usually it's closer to 9. To be honest, i'm not completely sold about the eating late theory. I think the most important thing is that you're eating a good, well-balanced meal more than anything. I would just try to make sure that once you're done with dinner that you're DONE eating, no snacking or anything. If you really want to eat earlier you could implement more crockpot dinners. That way food is still warm for him when he gets home, but you don't have to wait.
I have been doing so much cooking and meal planning lately so if you ever need ideas or good quick recipes you can email me! My stash of go-tos is quickly growing!
allie